We are the Churchianity fringe, the hip, the connected. Twitter was ours first. And Facebook before that. And MySpace before that. In the golden era of Twitter we shared an underground connection – out there living the day together, posting and retweeting to our hearts’ content the irreverent, the inappropriately comedic, and the “I can’t believe you just said that” stuff that made our lives sparkle. It was a safe haven away from the mothballs and bleach smell of conservative Evangelicalism. There was nobody around to offend. Now there are.
Yep, everybody and my mom (love you Mom) showed up to the party and we’re a little hesitant to swap the sangria for fruit punch and tone down the jams. But hey, we made Twitter sound like the answer to global loneliness and social disease and told everyone to get an account. There goes the Twitterhood.
Wait. It gets better. Or worse. Some employers care deeply about your tweets and watch carefully. People have been fired (rightly so) for tweets that shed a negative light on the company. And make no mistake, if you are in ministry (volunteer or staff at a church or religious organization) your pastors and ministry leaders care too. If your tweets are not protected in your privacy settings then what you say is public.
By the way, posts on Twitter are written material owned and published by you and are subject to law. You may be sued for slander or libel if you cross those lines.
Friends of Bill W (Google it if you don’t know who they are) talk a lot about “living life on life’s terms.” Well tweeps, life came to Twitter and brought its terms with it. Another thing they say a lot is “I can only speak for myself” so along those lines…
I’ve thought about this a lot lately and as a result my tweets have been sparse. I am in anguish 17 times a day because I can’t in good conscience blurt/tweet what I’m thinking. I am all kinds of funny in here but that’s not always funny out there. I can’t tell you how I want to retweet everything @sh*tmydadsays (whom I cherish) posts but I have followers I know would feel uncomfortable or straight up offended. I also can’t tell you how much this bugs me because people who are easily offended annoy me all to [Hades].
My pastor follows me and I know he’s not easily offended. Heck, he has a hard enough time keeping his internal monologue internal on Sunday morning. Most of the pastors I know are damn cool when you get them alone. When they polish up for teaching the congregation are they being unauthentic? Not in the slightest. They are being loving. If I tweet or retweet something off-color (no matter how funny) do I think he’d be concerned? Considering my level of involvement and a quick peek at my followers list, I’d be concerned if he wasn’t.
Watching what I say on Twitter has been good for my Spiritual growth. It’s easy to forget that what I post enters the eyes of people I am to love – and Christ taught us not to be picky and choosy about whom we love. Those close to me know that in my comfortable, natural state my language is fairly colorful. (As passionately as I feel about this topic, this is probably the most I’ve had to edit a blog post.) I don’t talk that way around my mother, in restaurants, and within earshot of small children. Nope, I want to be remembered as encouraging, positive and maybe even inspiring at my memorial service. You don’t get that by spewing verbal diarrhea everywhere. (Nice visual huh?)
Here’s my advice fellow fringe tweeps. Decide what you use Twitter for. If you just want to joke around with a few friends then use those privacy settings and protect your account. No harm, no foul. Then, like a vertibrate, be exclusive with your social circle. A good friend of mine said “there are some Christian bros you can punch in the p*nis… and others you can’t.” Pick the ones you can. (Sorry ladies, boy talk.)
Me? I’m staying on the radar and learning to be clever. I need a personality I can wear in public.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
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Sam –
Such a great post, and something that’s been weighing on my thoughts in the past month or so.
I love this argument because it’s not the “in deference to the weaker brother” argument. It doesn’t transfer all responsibility to the delicate sensibilities of others (“well, if they don’t like what I’m saying, then it’s their problem”); rather, it assumes the burden of wanting to change, of wanting to refine and reshape the personality and character we present to those who share life with us.
I’m going to recommend this post to all my ministry friends who use Twitter. Thanks so much, Sam.
de
Thanks Derek! The Romans 14 thing sat in a draft of this for a week and I just couldn’t back it up as an honest personal motivation. The tension between “Biblical truth” and what works for me makes living out this Christian life an art.
“I need a personality i can wear in public” Brilliant! Can i use that in a song!?
Seriously, I struggle with this a lot, both here and on Facebook, where I have a combination of friends, acquaintances, and others who only know me from the music I put out. I love your admission that it’s sometimes torture to self-censor–I feel that too! But self-censor we must. It’s not an intimate dinner party, this social networking community…although we all probably see tweets and posts from folks who think of it as such. I’m one who happens to share your opinion.
Thanks for articulating it so well!
I have mixed feelings on your position today.
I believe how easily someone is offended is in direct correlation with their spiritual growth. I think God calls us to have tender hearts but thick skins. The truth hurts sometimes, but we need to hear it. This would include having someone call us out when we are being a little too uptight.
With that said, I do believe that God does want us to be mindful of other people’s feeling, but not at the price of changing who He made us to be. Absolutely modify your vernacular around some people. It shows respect. But don’t ever try to modify yourself. God will make you who He wants you to be.
I have virtually no filter between my brain and my mouth so I am intimately acquainted with this topic of offending. I find it much easier to filter my thoughts than my mouth and controlling what I think about seems to keep me out of trouble most of the time.
Your “salty” or “colorful” personality revealing itself now and again may just be the thing that someone else can really identify with. And if God is accessible to the “colorful” side of you, it means that God is accessible to them too.
Great post today! I love that you are writing again.
EK :)
Perfect Sam, not only is it relevant but it’s just as I remember you all those long years ago when you were still in G-Town. Rock on dear friend!
Well, what is there to say, really? You said it quite well and ever so eloquently as always. I was just thinking yesterday of this same thing and am glad you posted your thoughts on this subject. Delightful read Sam-something tasty to sink the teeth into. Perfect. And you are living up to how you want to be remembered.
As one in the missionary position, I can totally relate. I appreciate you putting this into words – I have been battling this for some time, and have even made public apologies on several occasions for something said, reposted, etc.
It has grown me tons as well.
I love the tension between ‘honesty’ and ‘responsibility’. As an artist, as a writer, as a Jesus-follower, as a man with a rudder-tongue, it’s an important and paint-wet line to walk. Thanks for caring about it and putting your own thoughts in to it instead of recycling unsatisfying fortune-cookie remedies regarding the weight of our words. As always, yours is a voice I lean in to hear.
Love it–it’s perfect! You wrote exactly what’s in my brain! We must be kindred spirits, or twins separated at birth, or something…I’m not a Twitterbug, but I recently got in HUGE trouble for something I posted on Facebook. I of course was just goofing off, but somebody chose to get offended, and I got told how horrible and ungodly and everything else that I am, and I actually thought I was in danger of losing my job…*sigh*…the world would be so much nicer without people in it! >:0)
I gotta be me, just gotta be me…..