My Church Gig

I planned to kill this blog when I left my church staff position. I didn’t think I’d have much to say about church tech. The last few months in civilian clothes have given me a lot to think about – as if trying to find the answer to church life, production and everything. That’s different than the “Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything” which, everyone should know by now, is 42.

So on with thoughts and confessions from an ex church production staffer.

Today I am a church attendee (member) and volunteer. I’ve been my style of deeply committed to my church for 18 years. I say “my style” because, to be transparent, I’ve never felt entirely at home in mainstream Christian culture – or anywhere really. I’m not alone in that. As cool as Cornerstone is, it’s as mainstream as any suburban American mega-church and I’m ok with that. It’s been my family for nearly two decades.

One of the greatest awakenings I’ve had as a civilian after 7 years of church staff experience is this: I know why I go to church now. I don’t think a guy with my personality and drive could have understood it this well any other way.

I go to church on the weekend because that hour and a half is different than the rest of my week. I go because it is a sacred time; separate from everything else I’m doing, have done, and am going to do. I go because it’s part of what defines me as a Believer in my culture. I “go to church.” That, friends, is no shallow state of being.

I look around the congregation and I see it in their faces too. Sit in the middle of the auditorium on Sunday and you’ll feel the vibe. When the pastor cracks a joke at our silly human nature you see husbands and wives connect eyes, hands, smirks and grins. When the pastor addresses deep hurt or struggle with sin you see hands on others’ shoulders and we all share the weight of the human condition for a moment and a prayer. The sound is awesome (I’ll brag), the stage looks great, and the lights feel just right, but it’s all just a wrapper for the greater element: the difference of the moment.

The curious yet-to-believe folks come in to check out church and if they’ve braved parking lots, crowds, and an entirely foreign experience then they’re there on purpose precisely because they wanted to “go to church” too. The worship time has just enough of a “performance” element that the new person doesn’t feel like a complete outsider when they don’t raise their hands, and the applause they give (as much as it bothers worship leaders) feels familiar. It’s not a concert to anyone clearly enough. Those of us with eyes to see don’t view worship as a performance anyway so what do we care how others see it? Our gracious Father wins people over in time and we’re glad they’re with us. The new person is there because it’s different… different than a concert, a comedy act, or public speech.

When planning services and production it’s easy to major on the minors because they feel major and we can control them. We would do well to weigh every decision against this one question: how does it make our time meaningful and set apart? (But please, please, please NOT “churchy.”) That’s why people come in the first place. Our idea of Perfect can be as much of an opponent to that goal as Sloppy. At the end of a service maybe forget asking “was it great?” but rather ask “was it whole?”

The older I get the more I believe the Christian walk is more about the art of living and less about the boundaries of perceived universal rules. Service planning is the same kind of art and just as hard.

Many of these thoughts came to light while listening to the wisdom of Imogen Heap’s “First Train Home” lyrics:

What matters you, doesn’t matter, matter to me.
What matters to me, doesn’t matter, matter to you.
What matters to you, doesn’t matter, matter to them.

What mattered most to me didn’t matter to most of the people I served. What mattered to them would have mattered more to me had I been in their shoes more.

And, now I am. Loving every minute of it.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 at 8:24 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.